Sunday, October 21, 2018

The Past Week of the October Yoga Challenge Photos!

The third week of the October yoga challenge was great! I enjoyed all the poses, except one (the freaking crow pose) and I was able to make really great progress with my camel pose! Can't wait to see what this coming week brings!

Day Fifteen October Yoga Challenge - Crow Pose (Bakasana). Modified with yoga blocks and one one foot off the ground. 

Day Sixteen October Yoga Challenge - Half Moon Pose (Ardha Chandrasana). Modified with yoga blocks.

Day Seventeen October Yoga Challenge - Camel Pose (Ustrasana).

Day Eighteen October Yoga Challenge - Wide-Legged Forward Bend/Fold Pose (Prasarita Padottanasana).

Day Nineteen October Yoga Challenge - High Lunge Pose (Utthita Ashwa Sanchalasana).

Day Twenty October Yoga Challenge - One Legged Bridge Pose (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana). 

Day Twenty-One October Yoga Challenge - Standing Forward Bend/Fold Pose (Uttanasana).

Friday, October 19, 2018

100 Days of Keto Challenge - Day Forty - Weigh-In Four!


I'm only down 0.2 lbs in the last ten days and I'm actually happy with it.  I broke the pattern in these last ten days by weighing in more often and I'm glad I did because if I'd gotten on the scale for the first time today and saw such a small loss I would have probably been devastated, but since I was mentally ready for a gain, this number was a pleasant surprise!

The scale had shown a gain this past week every time that I got on it so I was fully prepared to see a gain this morning. I didn't cheat, I didn't go over my calories, I drank all my water... so what went wrong?

Well, it took me a little while but I finally figured it out a couple of days ago! In this last 10-day round of the keto challenge I added the Isopure protein powder back in and was making home made protein shakes and hoping for the best and that had to be it. They've stalled me before, they definitely bloated me and that's the only thing I've done differently.

I know it was stupid to keep trying them when I pretty much know what the outcome will be but I was hoping that if I tried them in smaller amounts with no Atkins shakes at all and without the digestive enzymes (which made me really sick) that maybe they would work.

I guess I was wrong. My body just can't handle them. And that would explain the bloating that seemed to come out of nowhere.

So, no more Isopure shakes again for good this time (and, yes, I've said that before but I mean it this time). I also have not been buying Atkins shakes and have almost fully cut them out of my food plan replacing them with actual food like chicken.

And, on the plus side, I'm back in the 160's so I'm good with that. I also didn't lose any inches at all this week, but I think some of that is coming from the bloating from the shakes plus that should improve once I start working out again tomorrow.

Right now my goal is to shoot for working out wherever I can fit it in. I printed my at-home weight training plan but it could also easily be done at the gym so I'm going to work out wherever I have time to workout. Some days will be at home, some days will be at the gym and I'm tried of obsessing about it. As long as I do something somewhere I'll be happy.

My goals for the next round of 10 days are to continue to eat healthy with no cheating, do one 24-hour fast and get back to regular workouts. I'm also not going to only weigh-in every ten days anymore because, due to where I am mentally right now, I can't handle the not knowing.

100-Days of Keto Challenge 4th 10-Day Check-In Numbers:

Weight:
169.8 lbs

Total Weight Lost in 4th 10 Days of Challenge:
-0.2 lbs

Total Weight Lost in 40 Days of Challenge:
-6.4 lbs

Measurements:              Change from 10/09/2018 
Waist: 35 inches                        (- 0.0 inches)
Hips: 39 inches                         (- 0.0 inches)
Bust: 39 inches                          (- 0.0 inches)
Chest: 33.5 inches                     (- 0.0 inches)
Right arm: 12.25 inches             (-0.0 inches)
Left arm:  12.25 inches               (-0.0 inches)   
Right thigh: 23.25 inches           (- 0.0 inches)
Left thigh: 22.75 inches             (- 0.0 inches)
Right calf: 15.25 inches               (-0.0 inches)
Left calf:   15.25 inches               (-0.0 inches)
Jeans Size: size 8                          (no change)

Total Inches Lost in 4th 10 Days of Challenge:
-0.0 inches

Total Inches Lost in 40 Days of Challenge:
-12 inches

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Again... It Crept In When I Wasn't Watching...

"...I feel just like I'm sinking
and I claw for solid ground.
I'm pulled down by the undertow.
I never thought I could feel so low.
Oh darkness I feel like letting go..."
           ~Sarah Mclachlan's "Full of Grace"

... and I didn't realize it was here until it was too late to cut it off at the pass. Again, there was no way to stop it. Again, in the fall, like the year before and the year before that and the year before that.

Again, depression steals everything from me... my positivity, my plans, my hopes, my dreams... the world is gray and cold. Everything is harder to do, like I am slogging through the mud, like my legs are made of cement, like the ground itself is pulling me down into the dark void that just waits for me with open arms.

Again, food doesn't taste good, music doesn't sound right, my interest in the world, nature, exercise, health, weight loss, family, creativity and everything I normally love fades away until there's a wall between myself and the things I once loved to do.

Again, it didn't have the decency to to come out and tell me it was coming. I should have expected it and I should have been ready but I wasn't. It rolled in like the fog, circling slowly, higher and higher, until suddenly I was coated and I can't seem to find a way back to whom I was before.

Again, it doesn't matter how hard I try. It doesn't matter how positive I try to stay. It doesn't matter that life is going well and there's no reason why I shouldn't be happy. It just is what it is.

And now, now that it's here, I can finally look back and see the build up that I wish I could have seen as it happened... slowly, brick by brick, step by step, away from the me I want to be to the me I tried to hold back with therapy and medication and hope.

Again, there is nothing more I can do but call my psychiatrist and my therapist and wait until they have the time to see me and go back to juggling medications and talking until something clicks and it recedes again like the tide, leaving me finally free to breathe again.

Depression steals everything from me.

Everything.

And no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I never know how long it will be until it's finally gone again.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

The Past Week of the October Yoga Challenge Photos!

The second week of the October yoga challenge was awesome! I had some great poses, including my absolute favorite tree pose that I hadn't done in a while, and I was happy to still be able to get almost all the poses outside! Can't wait to see what this coming week brings!

Day Eight October Yoga Challenge - Chair Pose (Utkatasana)

Day Nine October Yoga Challenge - Extended Hand-To-Big-Toe Pose (Utthita Hasta Padangustasana)

Day Ten October Yoga Challenge - Tree Pose (Vriksasana)

Day Eleven October Yoga Challenge - Plow Pose (Halasana)

Day Twelve October Yoga Challenge - Warrior I Pose (Virabhadrasana I)

Day Thirteen October Yoga Challenge - Upward-Facing Dog Pose (Urdhu Mukha Sanasana)

Day Fourteen October Yoga Challenge - Standing Back Bend Pose (Anuvittasana)

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

100 Days of Keto Challenge - Day Thirty - Weigh-In Three!


I'm down 1.6 lbs in the last ten days and I'm happy with it! I know I worked really hard, I know I stuck to the plan, I know there was no cheating so, basically, I did my best and this is a good number. I realize I was really upset at my last weigh-in with almost the same result but this time I was prepared for the number that came up so my attitude and reaction were completely different.

Also, with this weigh-in I'm officially down 60 lbs again and I know I'll be back in the 160's next time around. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

I'm also a couple of inches smaller all around and I'm really happy with that as well. Plus this means that I'm down a total of 6.2 lbs and 12 inches in the last 30 days and that's not bad at all.

I've made some really great progress this past week with healthy keto food and with getting enough protein and I'm hoping I'll be feeling the results from that soon. I'm still very limited in my workouts due to my back but I have a training session with my new trainer on Friday so I'm really looking forward to that.

My goals for the next round of 10 days are to continue to eat healthy with no cheating, do one 24-hour fast and start working out with my trainer.

100-Days of Keto Challenge 3rd 10-Day Check-In Numbers:

Weight:
170 lbs

Total Weight Lost in 3rd 10 Days of Challenge:
-1.6 lbs

Total Weight Lost in 30 Days of Challenge:
-6.2 lbs

Measurements:              Change from 9/29/2018 
Waist: 35 inches                        (- 0.5 inches)
Hips: 39 inches                         (- 0.5 inches)
Bust: 39 inches                          (- 0.5 inches)
Chest: 33.5 inches                     (- 0.5 inches)
Right arm: 12.25 inches             (-0.0 inches)
Left arm:  12.25 inches               (-0.0 inches)       
Right thigh: 23.25 inches           (- 0.25 inches)
Left thigh: 22.75 inches             (- 0.25 inches)
Right calf: 15.25 inches               (-0.0 inches)
Left calf:   15.25 inches               (-0.0 inches)
Jeans Size: size 8                          (no change)

Total Inches Lost in 3rd 10 Days of Challenge:
-2.5 inches

Total Inches Lost in 30 Days of Challenge:
-12 inches