Wednesday, September 2, 2015

The Headache

Is it one headache or is it many? I don't know. I guess since it comes and goes it should be many but I just call it "the headache" because even when it goes, it never stays away.

It likes to play with me, this headache. It likes to pick and choose the times when it escalates, especially enjoying interrupting me when I'm trying to get something done.

It likes to linger at the sides of my head, giggling and hiding when it thinks it can get away with it only to suddenly jump out and yell "boo" at me like a child playing hide and seek.

It likes to pound on my head like a sledge hammer, rhythmic and impossible to ignore, taking away my ability to think, to focus, to open my eyes beyond a squint.

It likes to dance around my head, along the temples, into the back by my neck, sometimes across my forehead, choosing its next step without warning.

It likes to interrupt special events, preplanned activities, my days and nights, not caring how much time and effort were dedicated to those events. Not caring how much I have to give up.

It likes to slow down, release its hold enough to make me think it's gone, only to swing back around to hit me again.

It likes to laugh at Tylenol and Advil and Excedrin and whatever over the counter stuff I try to throw at it.

At it's worst it likes to squeeze my head like a vice, pounding away at it, letting it's tentacles go only when I throw up enough to release the pressure.

It likes to follow the weather patterns, the barometric pressure, the random changes that happen every day, growing weaker and stronger depending on how it feels like growing.

It likes to make me think that I can control it, with diet, with exercise, with medications, with sleep... only to knock my legs out from under me just when I think I have it tamed.

It thinks it can control my life and there are so many days and nights when I think it can too.

It is me and I am it.

And that's just how it is.

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