Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Feeling a little... Discouraged?

I've been cheat free for 25 days. Twenty-five days!! I should feel great and proud of myself but what I feel is tired and annoyed and like binging.

I've overeaten twice this week now, not on "cheat" foods, but on my regular low carb foods, but I've had two days now were I just can't seem to be able to stop eating and I don't know why and now I'm pretty positive I'm gaining weight this week and it just sucks.

I haven't worked out in two days. I normally don't like more than one day to go in between workouts but I've had a lot of really dizzy/lightheaded days lately and they're messing me up. On top of that is the sinus headache I think I got from the bug Andy brought home (he's on week two of having some kind of illness although he is feeling much better than last week).

My body feels tired and my head hurts and I just feel discouraged. I miss having a day where I could eat something not so good for me. I miss being able to look forward to something decadent and rich once a week. I miss being able to have that free feeling that I worked hard all week and now I can sit back and enjoy a reward. I know food shouldn't be a reward but, damn it, it is and I want it!!

I'm going back to my cheat days when this 30 day thing is over although from here on out they will be known as "feast days" (that was Charles' idea lol) but, of course, I'm going back to it with moderation. If I can't keep it under control then I'll have to cut it out again. I think maybe I'm having issues with overeating right now because I took away the free food so I'll see what happens when I bring it back.

I actually did really well with it up until day 20 or 21. I wasn't even missing it and then suddenly I got slammed with this desire to eat anything and everything. I refuse to give in now when I'm so close to hitting the 30 days but I'm thinking about it almost nonstop, I'm craving it... well, mostly desserts... I'm not craving chips or cookies or any major junk, I'm craving something rich and chocolaty and creamy and... I don't know. Something more than what I've had for the last 25 days.

I've watched the scale creep up, and then slide down, and then creep up again all week and I think I'll handle it okay if I don't gain back more than half a pound. Who knows, I might even lose this week, but right now that doesn't seem likely and, yes, I know it's not all about the scale and the numbers on it but let's be honest here, they matter. They really do.

I fully plan on working out later today and I'm hoping that makes me feel better and less down and discouraged because feeling like this sucks and I don't know what else I can do about it.

2 comments:

  1. well you can vent about it. personally, I was DYING for sugar today. I'm not even a big sugar girl, my weakness is cookies, ice cream, softie carbs, as I call them. Yeah, I know that stuff is sugar, but what I was craving was CANDY. I am not a big candy fan. Behind this was NOT 25 cheat-free days (you are my hero for that, btw) but feeling extremely angry and sad and disappointed with my son's behavior, and wanting to comfort myself. I fought it all morning! I went to the dollar store today and did you know you can buy an obscene amount of candy there for $5? I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. If you were in the mood for advice, I'd say, tell yourself that this is just a feeling, and it will pass.

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  2. I totally understand comforting with food! And tomorrow you and I are facing down donuts :/
    I just want to get back to my weekly "feast" days now... just one little thing will probably work but I'm sticking it out! It's too close to the end to mess up the 30 days now.

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