Sunday, May 1, 2016

Pascha, Celebration and My Total Loss of Control Over My Food

Christ is risen! Indeed He is risen!

Khristos Voskrese! Voistinu Voskrese! Christos Anesti! Alithos Anesti!

Tha Crìosd air èiridh! Gu dearbh, tha e air èiridh!

Now that the good stuff is out of the way, let's talk about the bad....

We'll start with Pascha. There's not much to say because I wasn't able to go to the midnight service due to a massive migraine. I was able to go to the Sunday afternoon one today and that was great but I hate missing the midnight one.

As to the migraine, I have a pretty good idea of why it happened and that mostly involves carbs and sugar. A ton of carbs and sugar.

My original plan was to have a feast day today and enjoy myself. I blew that plan out of the water by starting to feast on Thursday and continuing until today. And I ended up feeling incredibly sick and overstuffed and just...sick. I don't even want to look at any more food, like, ever.

I don't know if it was the thought of having all that food in the house... actually it couldn't have been because it was in the house for weeks waiting for Pascha. Maybe it was the fact that I made a conscious decision to say, okay, until Monday I can eat whatever I want. All bets are off and I went with it. I pretty much gave myself permission to binge. Why do I still do that to myself???

It was a very poorly though out out and very bad decision and now I get to live with the consequences of that choice.

The scale will go up, probably by a lot. I feel horribly full and sick to my stomach. My head hurts, my joints hurt, my stomach feels awful and in general, I feel awful.

I haven't worked out out since Thursday, partly because of this binge and partly because my lower back hurts pretty badly from that freaking yoga DVD that I am NEVER doing again. Plus the headaches/migraine thing.

I am back on track as of right now, this moment, back with the low carb, the calorie counting, the healthier food but I know I have a lot of work to do to repair the damage from these last few days. Exercising starts up again tomorrow with Push/Pull Day B and cardio.

Basically, all I can do at this point in time is admit to my choices and move forward but it will be a long, long time before I do something like this again!

It's just not worth it.

4 comments:

  1. You CAN do it! Don't beat yourself up.

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  2. Yeah beating yourself up is pointless. Today I am fasting in solidarity w my husband who has to fast in preparation for his colonscopy tomorrow.
    But my first week of 30days was a fail and I ask myself the same question...why do it when I know I won't feel well afterwards?

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  3. Yeah beating yourself up is pointless. Today I am fasting in solidarity w my husband who has to fast in preparation for his colonscopy tomorrow.
    But my first week of 30days was a fail and I ask myself the same question...why do it when I know I won't feel well afterwards?

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  4. Felicity, I know... why do I do this?? At least it happens way less often! Thank you Barb, no more beating up... just fessing up and moving on lol

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