Wednesday, April 12, 2017

...And Then So Much Made Sense...

So earlier today my sister asked me why I keep restarting my weekly counts and my day 1's and keep starting fresh with weight loss and don't I realize that it's okay to go over my macros sometimes and okay to go off plan a little and none of that means I have to keep restarting and I think my answer may have surprised us both.

I keep starting fresh because I feel like I have to be perfect on my plan. Every time I go off plan for more than a day I feel like I have to start all over again. I just need it to be perfect (yes, I have food issues and OCD issues and OCD food issues and disordered food thoughts and I actually finally called my therapist and will be seeing her this coming Tuesday) but the thing is, no one is perfect.

I can't be perfect and I will never be perfect because that's just how it is and I just need to accept that. It's been very eye-opening for me to actually say that out loud. It IS okay to have an off-day. It IS okay to go over macros now and then. It IS okay to be human. So why is it so hard for me?

I thought a lot about this conversation as I went on with my day and here is what I decided to do. I am getting rid of the weekly count and the monthly count of my weigh loss/heath and fitness plan. Instead of saying "Week 1" or "Week 2" or whatever with the weigh-in day and date it will just be the weigh-in day and date. Tomorrow will be "Weigh-in Thursday, April 13th." No weekly or monthly count, no low-carb or mod-carb or whatever listed. I'm taking away the thing that puts that pressure on me to try and achieve perfection and I really believe this will work.

Everything is else is staying the same though. Still low carb (still working on that), still counting calories and macros, still weighing and measuring food, still exercising and writing it all down. I'm just removing that couple of little things that set off that set off my OCD crap like a mouse trap triggered by a hungry mouse.

And I'm going to work very hard to not get obsessed over exercise that way as well although I've handled that part pretty well so far!

And speaking of exercise, when I do return to the gym (hopefully very, very soon) I'll be restarting with the basic weight machine workouts (upper day one day, lower the next) until I feel stronger and healthier and then once I'm back on my feet I can go back to my tougher workout!

So... thank you to my sister for questioning me... it really helped!

No comments:

Post a Comment