So on Wednesday, after a lot of research, I decided to try for keto and keto adaptation. The parts I remembered about doing it before was feeling really good on low carb and losing weight.
The part I forgot? Picking something so restrictive that it sets off my obsessions until I drive myself and everyone around me (online people included) absolutely nuts.
Seriously, it has been SO bad, especially today and I realize now that I need to loosen the reigns a little both for my mental state and the mental state of those around me.
As you guys may know I have bipolar, I have also have some OCD going on along with anxiety and to me, saying I'm going for keto immediately translated into meaning I can never, ever, ever go over 50 carbs a day no matter how much I work out or what I do or how much I lose and so on. It meant no fruit and limited mostly green veggies. It meant I was obsessing over every carb and every bite and I couldn't take any more of it!
That kind of thinking doesn't make sense when you really think about it but the point is, I can't really think about it. Once the obsession kicks in it's a battle to get away from it even slightly, much less get out of the cycle. It's... well, it's not a good place to be in and I may end up calling my shrink if things don't improve over the weekend. I really don't want to mess with my meds again but I will if I have too.
So, after some serious reading, talking with friends and Charles and messaging with my trainer, I am changing things up a bit.
The general plan is still the same... healthy food, no crap, very little processed food, basically, mostly whole foods, with lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, veggies, and fats. But I'm still keeping it in the low-moderate carb range. Up to 150 grams of carbs on heavy workout days and under 100 grams of carbs on non-workout days (maybe around 50 on very lazy days).
That seems to work best for me in the long run. Yes, I would lose weight a lot faster with keto but if the last three days have shown me anything, it's that super restrictive things are just very bad for my mental health.
I'm still going to be detoxing from simple carbs and sugars and I still plan to keep them out of my diet 80% of the time. I'm still measuring, weighing and tracking food, counting calories and tracking macros. I'm still drinking a lot of water and still getting back to the gym. I'm still planning on not doing cheat days and I'm still going to work my butt off to make this weight loss and health thing happen.
I'm just changing up the carb amount and making it a little more livable for me. I may not become keto adapted or lose as much weight but maybe some of my sanity will return.
And, on top of all that, health is my number two concern, coming in right behind weight loss and I think I may do things in a healthier manner when I have more options for fruit and more carby veggies in my diet along with things like oatmeal.
So this is what I'm trying now. Let's see if I can actually make it happen.