Saturday, July 15, 2017

Fibro, Exhaustion, Pain and Cravings...


Today kind of sucks.

It's a high pain day out of nowhere. They have become fewer and much more far between since doing keto but it's not like I can get rid of them.

Today they cost me the church picnic, my workout, my step challenge goal and any time spent with Charles (we had walks planned at the picnic and everything). But, I did exactly what the above states. I knew if I didn't get that rest today that tomorrow would be even worse. Now I'm hoping tomorrow will let me function like I normally do!

And it's not just pain today. It's a deep ache, with complete exhaustion but with the inability to sleep it off. I feel like I'm weighed down by sandbags and I'm annoyed with it on top of everything. I want to do my workout damn it!

And to add to the fun, the carb desire is eating away at me. I can't exactly call them cravings because they don't feel like cravings. And, no, I will not be giving in and cheating but the want is there and it's growing. Pizza, pasta, takeout, pastries, donuts, bread, cake, pie... anything and everything I stopped eating is dancing through my mind and calling out to me.

It's sort of weird that it's coming now when I've gone 5 weeks with almost no cravings. I think it started with grocery shopping on Thursday because they were baking fresh chocolate chip cookies in the store and the smell was just so freaking amazing, but definitely not amazing enough for me to eat them.

I have come too far and made too much progress to screw it up now. At 5 weeks in I should be past just ketosis, I should actually be in, or very close to, the fat adaptive/keto adaptive metabolic state and I'm not giving that up for some cravings but the fact that cravings and desires still exist should be shared.

Most of the last five weeks of blog posts have been super positive and exciting about how great I feel and how great I'm doing on low carb/keto. I'm not going to avoid sharing when I struggle and feel not so great. Right now I feel like I could easily down a medium takeout pizza, or a huge, unhealthy meal with lots of carbs from McDonald's or even a cheesecake or two and I don't even eat those crazy amounts of food anymore but my brain is calling for them.

It's not going to happen but occasionally I wish it would just for the taste and the satisfaction of it all.

So, anyway, I'm going to spend the rest of today resting and recovering and hope for a much better and more productive day tomorrow!

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