Wow... 125 days low carb/keto cheat free! And there I was thinking I may not make it past day 30! But I did and I think I surprised everyone, including myself!
I can honestly say that it has gotten easier. There are still hard days, of course, this has been a really bad week so far so many reasons some of which include the awful depression (seeing therapist next week and shrink in a week and a half), my car needing a new alternator (weeee... watch the money drain from the savings account), something weird and awful going on with my face (we're currently suspecting rosacea and I'm going to spare you all the sight and not post pics here) that is progressively getting worse and worse (seeing my doctor on Tuesday) and makes me feel like all my beautiful, clear skin from the no cheating is gone forever into this mess of bumps, hives, dryness, redness and just... ick. Not being able to find time and energy for the gym (absolutely going tomorrow all else be damned!!) And.... some other stuff.
Anyway, all I've wanted to do this week (besides try and stop randomly bursting into tears) is eat carbs. Not just any carbs... ALL THE CARBS... I wanted to go and buy out the bakery section of the store, get warm, crusty bread, order a huge pizza and just eat until I felt better. Ahhhhh.... the memories.
But did I? NO! And will I? Absolutely not! I know it's not the carbs that I actually want and it's not hunger, it's the memories of binging until I felt better, until my body and mind went numb from the carb and sugar rush and for a while, nothing else mattered.
But if I do that I'll be right back in the grasp of the carb and sugar addiction and I will not let that happen again. Not again and not anymore. There are other ways to deal with all this crap. I have a lot of them lined up as posted above and I know hitting the gym tomorrow will help me a tremendous amount. I just need to hold on until the gym, until I can get some decent sleep (was awake at 3am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep), until I can talk to my therapist, until the med change I ( know is coming... but, okay, this has veered of course so let's back up).
125 days. In that time I have not had more than 46 net grams of carbs on any one day and usually a whole lot less. I've lost a total of 26.6 lbs (based on last weeks' weigh-in and I'm expecting a good weigh-in tomorrow) and a total loss of 58 lbs. I'm down numerous sizes and inches. I've now hit 4 30-day goal days the last one of which was a sports tank top for working out instead of a weapon (which is what I'm doing for the next 100 days or more) as seen here...
(yes, yes, pj's and cat socks... I have no shame lol).
I have not binged a single time. Not once, no matter how badly it may have called out to me. I have lost weight every week for the past 17 weeks (and like I said, I expect a good loss tomorrow and, also, yes, I love parentheses lol). I have counted every last calorie and measured and weighed everything that I have eaten. Planned and re-planned and then re-planned some more, my meals and food for every day so I'm prepared. I prepped keto muffins and really need to go back to prepping other foods but I'll get there. I always knew how many calories, carbs, net carbs, fat, protein and fiber was in everything before it went in my mouth. Yes, that may seem obsessive but it works for me and I'm sticking with what works!
I have no current plans to stop at this time (although I do have a feast day planned for Christmas day... not a binge and eat all carbs day but just a day to eat the yummy Chinese takeout that the family eats, have one small dessert and be done). I'm also 58% of the way to my final goal!
The next 25 days should bring more success and, hopefully, some good changes with them and I'm actually looking forward to them!
Now bring on the gym because I NEED it!!