Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Confessing My Sins and Lesson Learned

Hi, My name is Aleks and I am a true carb and sugar addict.

I thought I could handle it. I thought I had it under control. I thought, what's one day... I've gone 199 days with no cheating, I can handle one day, easy!

I was wrong.

The cheat day itself seemed to go well. I ate what I wanted (out of the things I had planned), didn't binge and I felt good so I got all proud of myself... you guys read my blog post.

Yesterday was hard, I'm not going to lie. I held somewhat firm (I did eat extra stuff but I made sure I could fit it in, but it was still hard when all my brain could focus on was leftovers).

Then came today. I started the day with healthy, low carb food and then suddenly, somewhere around lunchtime, I started eating leftovers and didn't stop until... well, there was nothing left over anymore.

It was like the calories and macros disappeared and all there was, was delicious, high sugar, high carb, yummy, yummy food... bread, more tiramisu, chocolate, pie, more bread... I'm not even going to list it all but sufficed to say, there's nothing left and I feel incredibly sick.

It was like another creature took over my body and mind until all the food was gone.

So I have learned my lesson. Me having a high carb/sugar cheat day is like an alcoholic having a bottle of wine for Christmas dinner. It just can't happen.

I can NOT handle it and now I know I can not handle it.

From now on, whatever kind of cheat food I may want to have, I either have to find and make a low carb version of it or pick something else. Not even one cheat day can happen from now on. I know this now and I accept it.

I'm not going to beat myself up about this and I'm not going to make myself feel bad. I tried it, I couldn't handle it, and I know it now. I'm going to look at this as an important lesson learned and not as some kind of failure.

Tomorrow I get back on track and start my 30-day count over fresh. I now know that the next couple of days are going to be very, very hard for me but I've done this before and I can do it again.

This is just how things have to be and I accept that.

So let's do this!

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