Tuesday, December 25, 2018

It's Finally Time for a New Beginning...


I have been off track and off keto for several weeks now (because I wanted a break while everything was going on with my dad and then I just ate all my feelings) and every part of me is paying for it.

Not only have I gained back a huge amount of weight (I'm at my highest weight in, probably, two years and none of my clothes fit right) but the fibromyalgia pain is the worst it's been in years. I'm actually a little shocked at how bad the pain is. Everything hurts and I mean everything from the top of my head where brushing my hair feels like I'm dragging a rake against my scalp down to my legs that I can't even shave because running the razor against my skin, no matter how lightly, feels like I'm carving gouges in my legs.

Every part of my skin feels this way. Touching any part of my body feels like I'm punching it. Every joint hurt, especially in my fingers, wrists, ankles and knees. Every muscle aches (and not in a good way). My joints are stiff and hard to move, body aches and cries when I move it and the parts of my body that I injured working out a few weeks ago (which turned out to be more my deep bicep muscles rather than my shoulder) hurts to the point where if I move my arm a certain way it feels like something is tearing in it.

I'm moving and walking like a robot because everything hurts. I'm tired all the time but I'm having trouble falling asleep. I have no energy, my head hurts and my entire body aches and screams. Every touch, every movement, every everything hurts.

The funny part is that I knew keto helped with my fibromyalgia pain. I blogged about and talked about but I didn't realize just how bad the pain could get until I completely fell off the wagon and starting eating anything and everything that sounded good and now I fully realize (again) that I HAVE to be on keto to remain pain free or at least keep it at a reasonable level.

Yes, of course the weight loss is a huge perk but that's not what I really need keto for. I need it to keep the pain under control which also means that cheat days or free days or whatever I call them are probably not the best idea but I can deal with all that later.

My plan now is to get back on keto as of tomorrow and do my own 100-day keto challenge where I weigh in once a week and take my measurements once a month. Now that Christmas has come I really have no excuses and I can't afford to gain any more weight unless I want to start buying bigger clothes (which I really don't).

I plan to go back to what I was doing that was working for me: counting calories and macros, weighing and measuring my food, staying under 50 total grams of carbs a day and under 35 net carbs (or lower depending on the day), intermittent fasting, doing the daily yoga poses again, starting up with my workouts and generally getting back on track with what makes me feel my best.

I also need to pay a lot more attention to my nutrition and protein levels, especially when I work out for two hours a day, so that's something I'm definitely focusing on.

I will be working out in my home gym for the next several months (at least) because the way our finances are right now, I needed to cancel my gym membership. I should be able to start on Saturday because I'm waiting for one new piece of home gym equipment (I'll post all about it with pics when it gets here) that will allow me to use my barbell safely and that's not coming until Friday.

I'm not looking forward to my first weigh-in tomorrow because I know it's not going to be good and I know I'm back in the 190's but it is what it is and all I can do is get back on track and lose it again.

I also plan to get back to more frequent blogging and talking about what's working for me and what isn't and generally getting myself back to a healthy place.

So let's do this!

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